Ok, so I haven’t been posting very regularly recently, but that’s because I’ve been working 10-12 hour days and I’ve been too whacked to even think about movies. Reading other peoples websites and stealing their stories is much easier at the moment, so when I came across a rant about Warner Bros dragging their feet over a Constantine sequel that tickled my fancy, at one of my favourite movie sites, I decided to let y’all have a read.
Now he comes up with some good points, is a tad rude in places (you’ve been warner!!hahahahqahaha), and ends up with a similar thought to me, but I’m gonna take a stand and say to Warner Bros: Don’t do it. A Constantine sequel would suck big time. Like most sequels do. I mean the great thing about Constantine was the originality of it, the fresh-ness of it, something that can’t be carried into a sequel.
But hell, enough of my ranting, read the stolen rant right here:
With recent news that Warner Bros are twiddling their thumbs and playing with their executive balls when considering a sequel to this year’s CONSTANTINE one can only sigh the deepest of sighs when thinking of their salivating eagerness to flick the often abused green-light sequel switch for the likes of MISS. CONGENIALITY, CATS & DOGS and SCOOBY DOO.
The comic book Keanu starrer may not have bought in the same kind of buckage as most of the aforementioned cinematic shit-splats but it was by no means a flop and, most importantly, the film possessed (please hold)… IDEAS. Now, repeat that once again like that badly animated paedo looking fella from ‘Sesame Street’; I-D-E-A-S.
CONSTANTINE was not a perfect film, but for a big-budget Warner release it was something of a revelation (no pun intended.. or was it?).
Fans of its source material, Vertigo’s "Hellblazer" comics, were concerned that their foul-mouthed, chain smoking, cancer-ridden anti hero John Constantine would come out the arse end of the Hollywood Machine acting more like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis’ ‘LOVELY LOVE IS LOVELY’ (coming soon).
They needn’t have worried; with newcomer Francis Lawrence coming good, CONSTANTINE only went through a handful of alterations; his trademark olive jacket did a ‘Kingpin’ and morphed to black and his Liverpudlian twang was twisted into the calming tones of one Ted Theodore Logan. But the quirks, defects, cynicism and addictions remained. A minor miracle if you consider that nowadays it’s virtually impossible for a studio to allow you to simply commit a cigarette to celluloid, the fact that Reeves was sucking back 20 cancer-sticks a second and coughing up blood into a rusty plug-hole was something to behold (am I sick?).
Then of course there’s the whole religious to-do, a backstabbing Gabriel (excellently played by an androgynous Tilda Swinton), multiple suicide attempts AND the concept of the Devil and God treating the human-race like a planet of toy Weebles (but, oh how we DO fall down). All of this in a ‘mainstream’ studio flick?
I’ll happily take a different coloured coat and a transatlantic switcheroo over Sandra Bullock falling over and the systematic rape of an iconic childhood cartoon canine anytime.
So, the argument against a sequel? Well, I suppose this is where those predictable and jaded Keanu bashers come out of the woodwork. Criticising Keanu Reeves’ thesp abilities seems to be a no-brainer knee jerk reaction for some film geeks, most of these critiques are often riddled with ‘Excellents’, ‘Duuuudes’ and ‘Woahs’. Ingenius.
Well for my money Keanu Reeves is a movie-star, I enjoy watching his performances and I will happily pay the admission price to see him playing a time-travelling valley dude, a lovelorn vampire hunter, a Chilli Pepper bashing surf-cop, a Dennis Hopper decapitating bus driver or a Commodore 64 infecting Martial Artist.
Reeves seems to have a precise and graceful movement on camera as if his use of the space around him and his knowledge of the frame is as much a tool as his own physical performance, it’s intriguing to watch and to instantly dismiss his abilities is most non, non-heinous.
I wasn’t a particular fan of the MATRIX trilogy, in fact I didn’t even warm to the original so whilst I endured the unforgivable debacle that was RELOADED and REVOLUTIONS with a somewhat smug and self-satisfied grin on my handsome face, I joyfully observed my Morpheus loving buddies turn their salty popcorn even saltier with their pathetic tears.
BUT ask yourself this? Who else could have played Neo? The true test of a great iconic movie character (Dirty Harry, Peter Venkman, Ferris Bueller, The Godfather, Deuce Bigelow; European Gigolo) is when you simply cannot imagine another actor playing that part. Who of Reeves’ peers could have entered the mainframe so effortlessly? John Cusack? Sean Penn? Charlie Sheen? Deuce Bigalow; European Gigolo? Reeves all the way.. dude.
So with this in mind and the fact that CONSTANTINE is now cleaning up around the globe on DVD what’s Warner’s problem? They’ve already gotten through the controversial material unscathed and built a foundation (and a following) for a very intriguing franchise…so what’s the delay Bugs?
Maybe they’ve had visions of CONSTANTINE : RELOADED?
The author of this column is Dan Palmer, not OnScreen. Just in case you didn’t get that from my intro.
Have an awesome weekend now y’all.
DVD | I Heart Huckabees
Convinced that a series of coincidences involving a doorman hold some secret to life's largest riddles, Albert Markovski seeks the help of a detective agency unlike any other. . . which leads him down a path that questions the essence of existence itself.
So starts the bizarre movie that is Huckabees. And I use the term movie very loosely, as this is a movie unlike any other. It’s a movie which seems to have no plot or direction. A movie that claims to be a comedy, but uses very intellectual humour. Not that intellectual humour is bad, at least it gets you thinking about what you’re watching, but I do like a bit of slapstick now and then.
So to say that Huckabees is a very funny movie could be true, but it could also be a lie – It’s kind of a parody of the movie itself, it depends on what you believe humour to be.
So I guess you could call Huckabees one of those strange movies. A movie about the meaning of life, about how we’re connected, about our needs. I’m not sure that it answers any of the questions that it poses, but it does make you think, and thinking is good for the brain.
What I can say for certain, is that Huckabees has some outstanding acting.
So starts the bizarre movie that is Huckabees. And I use the term movie very loosely, as this is a movie unlike any other. It’s a movie which seems to have no plot or direction. A movie that claims to be a comedy, but uses very intellectual humour. Not that intellectual humour is bad, at least it gets you thinking about what you’re watching, but I do like a bit of slapstick now and then.
So to say that Huckabees is a very funny movie could be true, but it could also be a lie – It’s kind of a parody of the movie itself, it depends on what you believe humour to be.
So I guess you could call Huckabees one of those strange movies. A movie about the meaning of life, about how we’re connected, about our needs. I’m not sure that it answers any of the questions that it poses, but it does make you think, and thinking is good for the brain.
What I can say for certain, is that Huckabees has some outstanding acting.
DVD | 2B Perfectly Honest
This is an interesting little comedy. It starts out as a predictable movie, but soon the main character gets in a bit of bother, and not long after, weird stuff starts happening. Most of the time you’re left wondering what is going on, but in the end everything is sorted out. It wasn’t a huge barrel of laughs but did connect with my Bible reading the next day, Proverbs 32:4-5.
News | New Website
One or two people may have noticed that there have been no movie news or reviews for a week now. Sadly I’ve been very busy at work and just haven’t had time to write any reviews. I have seen a few DVDs, so don’t worry, reviews should start appearing later this week.
One of the things that has kept me busy over the past week is a new Christian Music Website that I’ve been working on. It’s pretty much an example of what you can do for next to no cost, with just about no knowledge of html (I created the main page with Mozzila’s free web page creator!).
One of the things that has kept me busy over the past week is a new Christian Music Website that I’ve been working on. It’s pretty much an example of what you can do for next to no cost, with just about no knowledge of html (I created the main page with Mozzila’s free web page creator!).
News | A Scanner Darkly
Whilst these posters might not excite many people, I quite like them. They are bold, well cropped and are more of a tease than trying to portray anything but the feel of the movie.
And lets face it, the movie is gonna rock big time.
Click here to see the whole range of posters, thanks to JoBlo.com
DVD | Constantine
I received Constantine on DVD yesterday, so any plans I might have had for last night were out the window. I looked the kids in their rooms, sat down with the wife, lights out and settled in to see how well the movie had translated from big screen to DVD.
Let me tell you, it’s still as good as it was the first time. Sure, it’s diminished a little by the size, but lets face it, more and more people are buying bigger TVs and more of us are staying home to watch movies, so size isn’t the issue it used to be.
And what of the whole disc of extras? Well, you’ll have to wait for that, that’s my weekend job.
If you like spiritually significant, freaky supernatural-edge-of-your-seats thrillers, with deadpan acting by Keanu, then you’ll love Constantine.
If you don’t like that sort of thing, well, you should!!
DVD | Harsh Realm
Harsh Realm, part The Matrix, part Apocalypse Now was created by Chris Carter and dropped by Fox after only 3 episodes. Consequently it never made it ti New Zealand as a TV programme, but now 6 years later it’s arrived on DVD.
Basically, the story goes like this: The US Military have created a virtual reality world that mirrors our world, and have been using it to train their forces. But someone has discovered how to hack in to the programme and has taken over, so now the military must send someone in to take him out.
The storyline didn’t grab me either, but the first episode did. Being based in a huge virtual world much like the Matrix, gives the series huge scope and stops it from getting tired. It’s action packed and the characters are loveable, add to that some light cheese moments and you have the perfect sci-fi series.
Whilst it does suffer occasionally in the special effects department, the quality is great and shows no hint of dating despite it’s 6 year hiatus in Fox’s wharehouses.
Be glad that this has finally seen the light of day in good ole New Zealand.
DVD | Million Dollar Baby
Million Dollar Baby is one of those funny films. It’s not one that I would have picked, but there wasn’t a lot else available at the time. It’s also not a film that had me on the edge of my seat.
But the more I think about the movie, the more I like it. The way Morgan Freeman’s character narrates reminded me of The Shawshank Redemption. But Freeman isn’t the main focus; he’s more of a constant background piece. The main characters are played by the ever-capable Clint Eastwood, and Hilary Swank, who gives an outstanding performance.
Basically a story regret and looking for redemption, Million Dollar Baby brings two very different people with similar hurts and needs, together in a journey of acceptance, trust and commitment. Two characters who have let down or been let down by their respective families find in each other a family worth fighting for.
Fortunately Eastwood stays away from Hollywood clichés and delivers a knock out blow that you don’t see coming in the form a huge twist that changes the entire focus and direction of the movie.
And it’s a twist that I’m gonna stay away from as it will ruin the movie if you haven’t seen it.
As I said earlier, this movie didn’t keep me on the edge of my seat, but it did keep me thinking long after the movie was over. So if you’re looking for something to think about, a movie that’ gonna give your grey matter something to do, then grab a copy of Million Dollar Baby.
But the more I think about the movie, the more I like it. The way Morgan Freeman’s character narrates reminded me of The Shawshank Redemption. But Freeman isn’t the main focus; he’s more of a constant background piece. The main characters are played by the ever-capable Clint Eastwood, and Hilary Swank, who gives an outstanding performance.
Basically a story regret and looking for redemption, Million Dollar Baby brings two very different people with similar hurts and needs, together in a journey of acceptance, trust and commitment. Two characters who have let down or been let down by their respective families find in each other a family worth fighting for.
Fortunately Eastwood stays away from Hollywood clichés and delivers a knock out blow that you don’t see coming in the form a huge twist that changes the entire focus and direction of the movie.
And it’s a twist that I’m gonna stay away from as it will ruin the movie if you haven’t seen it.
As I said earlier, this movie didn’t keep me on the edge of my seat, but it did keep me thinking long after the movie was over. So if you’re looking for something to think about, a movie that’ gonna give your grey matter something to do, then grab a copy of Million Dollar Baby.
Quote | Scott Derrickson
“To me, the horror genre is the genre of non-denial. It's about admitting that there is evil in the world, and recognizing that there is evil within us, and that we're not in control, and that the things that we are afraid of must be confronted in order for us to relinquish that fear. And I think that the horror genre serves a great purpose in bolstering our understanding of what is evil and therefore better defining what is good. And of course I'm talking about, really, the potential of the horror genre, because there are a lot of horror films that don't do these things. It is a genre that's full of exploitation, but the better films in the genre certainly accomplish, I think, very noble things."
Scott Derrickson, director and writer; The The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
Scott Derrickson, director and writer; The The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
X-Box | Fahrenheit
You are Lucas Kane. You are sitting in a male restroom, your wrists had been hacked with a knife and you’re not completely sure who you are or where you are. Another man walks into the restroom and proceeds to use the washbasin. Suddenly you rise from the toilet and stumble towards the man. But you can’t control your actions; you’ve been possessed; your eyes are white, rolled back and your face expressionless. You’re floating above your body, watching as you lunge towards the man with the knife knocking him to the floor. Then you sit on the man and stab him on the restroom floor in a sacrificial killing. Suddenly, you are released from your possessed state, return to you body and realise the atrocity you’ve just committed. Shocked and stunned you drop the knife and panic quickly sets in.
This is where the game begins and you take control. But I use the term ‘game’ lightly as this plays more like an interactive action thriller. Kinda like those old school text adventures, but this time instead of typing ‘west’ you get to move your character around and interact with the environment and other people. But be careful, everything you do has a consequence.
Having only played a short demo, I’m hooked and can’t wait till it’s released. The graphics are beautiful, if somewhat dark and moody, but that sets the tone for the game
Fahrenheit is going to be one of the most original and addictive games of the year.
DVD | Cellular
Starting off a little cheesy, this popcorn thriller owes a lot to the very underrated Colin Farrell thriller Phone Booth, which is no wonder as Larry Cohen wrote them both.
But no matter how it starts, the ride gets fast very early on and turns into a very solid thriller, with some laugh out loud scenes just to let you know it’s only a movie. A great combination of elements makes for a very enjoyable watch that in the end keeps you hooked to the very last frame.
The funny thing is, the main bad guy, the ever capable Jason Statham seems somewhat out of place in a movie populated by faces your recognise, but no actual real players (unless you call Kim Basinger a real actress).
Trivia
The movie the kidnappers are watching is "Final Destination 2" Also there is an announcement at the aiport for "Volé Flight 180 to Paris," a reference to the original "Final Destination" Both are New Line productions, as was Cellular.
But no matter how it starts, the ride gets fast very early on and turns into a very solid thriller, with some laugh out loud scenes just to let you know it’s only a movie. A great combination of elements makes for a very enjoyable watch that in the end keeps you hooked to the very last frame.
The funny thing is, the main bad guy, the ever capable Jason Statham seems somewhat out of place in a movie populated by faces your recognise, but no actual real players (unless you call Kim Basinger a real actress).
Trivia
The movie the kidnappers are watching is "Final Destination 2" Also there is an announcement at the aiport for "Volé Flight 180 to Paris," a reference to the original "Final Destination" Both are New Line productions, as was Cellular.
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