DVD | Revenge Of The Sith

The galaxy is weary after three long years of war. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi have become legendary heroes in their campaigns against the droid forces of the evil General Grievous. Anakin and his secret wife, Padme Amidala, have been separated for months, and he finally reunites with her to learn that she is pregnant. He is plagued by visions of her dying in childbirth, haunting images of a possible future. Anakin is determined to stop her from dying, no matter the cost. This leads Anakin down a dark path to commit terrible deeds. Obi-Wan Kenobi must face his former apprentice in a ferocious lightsaber duel on the firey world of Mustafar. Blah, blah, blah.

I used to be a Star Wars fan, and thought highly of George Lucas, but that was when I was younger, and Star Wars was a visionary movie. A ground breaking visual feast that set Hollywood ablaze. Lucas was pushing the boundaries of what could be done, and was inventing some of the best visual effects that have far reaching implications for today’s movies.

But then he decided to do the prequels. The world had moved on, but George hadn’t. Both episodes 1 & 2 were massive disappointments (to me anyway) but rumour was that he’d got it right with Episode 3: The Revenge Of The Sith.

Sadly the rumours were wrong. This was no better. Cardboard cut outs could act with more character than the small ensemble of actors in this movie. But you can’t blame the actors too much, it must be hard to try and act a scene when there is no scene. Nothing but green screen. Lucas’ over reliance on computers that so blighted the first two, now destroyed any hope of a decent final movie.

Sure the computer graphics are stunning. But they are all too perfect, and the inability of any actor to really be able to grasp the idea of acting on non-existent sets, with non-existent characters, destroys the story. I could go on but I won’t, it’s to easy to pick apart Lucas’ terrible decision to not use real sets or models.

And because it’s a sequel, the main fight scenes, the ones that should have had you on the edge of your seats, were about as exciting as watching paint dry. Sadly, knowing that both people in a duel to the death actual survive till the next movie kinda takes all the excitement away.

But it’s not all doom and gloom for the Sith. If nothing else, the movie answered all those nagging question we had about Darth, Luke and Co. And it showed in spectacular form how dangerous a mix power without character is. As the ever powerful Skywalker was lead astray by the subtle leading of the dark side, it was easy to see that a life grounded in Godly character is the only thing that’s going to keep the dark side at bay.

So basically, if you liked the first two, you’ll probably love Sith. If, Iike me you wish that Lucas had either left the franchise alone or given it to Peter Jackson, then you’ll hate it.

DVD | Batman Begins

Batman Begins is, as you’ve probably heard, the Batman Movie that the fans have been hanging out for. Well, I’m not fan, but compared to what has been done before, I’d say that this was the best, and could almost make me into a fan.

But for a comic book movie, it doesn’t really feel like a comic book movie. The real emphasis is on building the character of Bruce Wayne and his ascent into his alter ego Batman.

The movie starts off with Bruce as a little boy, falling into a well and waking up a cave of slumbering bats – it’s a defining moment in the movie, of which there are several. Another such moment is when bat-like characters in a play his Parents and himself are attending freak young Bruce. He convinces them to leave early, and its here that the defining tragedy occurs, a petty thief murders his parents.

Pretty soon we see Bruce as a man, bent on revenge, but it’s not until he finds a shadowy group of vigilantes who help him overcome his fear and train him to be a fighter for justice that he realises his true calling.

Along the way Bruce has to make many decisions, and it’s how he grows through these decisions that we see a man transformed from a vengeance is mine kind of guy to the honourable, lets do what’s right incarnation of Batman.

Batman Begins is a dark movie, set in the dark underworld of a city going to the dogs. Organised crime and conspiracy is rampant, and whilst Batman uses truth to bring light to the world, the movie it’s self is aided by some appropriately humours moments curtesy of the ever capable Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine. The funny thing is these two veterans seem more at ease in there roles that Christian Bale does in his. Maybe it’ just me, but sometimes when he’s playing the part of Batman, she’s not always that convincing. Maybe I’m too cynical, and it’s only a minor point.

Another minor point is that the movie ends about 5 minutes too late, and finishes on a very un-needed cheesy moment. That along with more time needed for focussing on his training are my only two gripes about this movie. But now I’m just being picky.

A fantastic movie, with some great themes, set on a very dark backdrop of despair.

Movie Quote #1

"That's not a knife. THIS is a knife."

What's the movie?

DVD | Rock School

This documentary revolves around failed rock star Paul Green and his after school music school. Not so much a place to learn music, but more a place to be forced into the rock genre through constant verbal abuse form self taught ‘teacher’ Green.

His approach to encouragement is akin to that of Idol’s Simon Cowell, but where as Cowell has some redeeming features (namely his charisma), Green has no redemption. His school borders on chronic child abuse.

So why bother with Rock School? Well, as a documentary it does a damn fine job of showing the life of Rock School, and the journey that the participants take. It shows that if you’re strong enough to take on Green, he’ll kick you out – for all he wants is to be worshipped – a kind of Peter Pan crossed with a Hitler-ish control freak mentality. He needs the kids more than they need him. They are his wellspring of eternal youth.

Wether intentionally or not, Director Don Argott manages to produce a fairly entertaining documentary that leaves you wanting to give Green a spoonful, not, make that a bucketful of his own medicine. You’ll have to assume that this is the way Green really is as no sane man would do all that just for the camera. You also have to wonder if his tactics really work, as yes, he gets them to play some of the (apparently) most difficult rock music in the world, but is he just creating copycats or nurturing real talent?

Disney to buy Pixar?

Pixar's split with Disney was very public, and now Pixar is going it’s own way… leaving the likes of Toy Story and The Incredibles in Disney's library.

But have they really split, or is there more to the story?. ABC, a subsidiary of Disney has recently been helping out Pixar's parent company Apple. ABC made episodes of "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives" available for download via Apple's new iTunes video download service. Apple website MacDailyNews suggests that not only may the two giants be getting back together, but Disney may be on the verge of actually buying Pixar.

"Mr. Jobs would consider a sale at the right price." But at what price? The company's market value is $5.9 billion, but Disney already owns the Pixar movie catalogue, so it's not like that will be part of the deal.

It’s obvious that nothing will happen though, until after this weekend.

Why? Chicken Little opens this weekend. If it’s a hit, Disney will think that they don’t need Pixar, but if it flops, who knows?

The real question in many peoples minds is what would happen if Disney did buy Pixar? Would they do the wise thing and leave Pixar to do it’s thing, or will they quash the creative spirit of Hollywoods only film studio never to have a flop?

Is Disney better off without Pixar? I think not. Is Pixar better off without Disney? A resounding yes.

DVD | The Machinist

The Machinist is a real head-trip. It’s designed to keep you on edge, to keep you wondering, to keep you confused. From the use of lighting, to the music and the concentration camp survivor looking Christian Bale. It’s one of the best psychological thrillers of the year.

The problem with reviewing a movie like this, is that it’s so very easy to give too much away, so I will warn you that reading this before seeing the movie may give the ending away.

You’ve been warned!

The main character, Trevor Reznik is suffering from a bad spell of insomnia, and hasn’t slept for a year. He spends his time compulsively cleaning his apartment and his hands. His only human companionship outside of work is split between a prostitute who’s fallen in love with him, and an romantic relationship with a waitress at a 24hr café.

But it’s at work that things really start to go wrong, as he starts to hallucinate and see a co-worker that no one else can see. With his mind transfixed by this person his concentration lapses causing a horrific injury to one of his workmates. Things go from bad to worse as he starts doubting his own sanity.

Paranoia and conspiracy theories abound in his head, and it’s not until he starts to look inside that he starts to discover the truth.

In a brilliant conclusion to this finely crafted masterpiece, we realise that we’ve been looking at the ability of guilt to destroy a life, and the freedom that confession can bring. For a gritty and dark movie it’s redemptive look at the power of truth over darkness is amazing, and we end up understand exactly why facing up to our responsibilities and problems works much better than trying to hide things we’d rather didn’t exist.

Jobs Sells 1M Videos!

Steve Jobs and Apple have done it again! Proving that he still has the golden touch, Jobs announced that iTunes Music Store customers have purchased and downloaded more than one million videos since they debuted on October 12. Customers can choose from over 2,000 music videos, Pixar short films and hit TV shows for just $1.99. Top downloads include music videos from Michael Jackson, Fatboy Slim and Kanye West; Pixar’s “For the Birds” and “Boundin’”; and episodes of ABC’s hit TV shows “Lost” and “Desperate Housewives.”

“Selling one million videos in less than 20 days strongly suggests there is a market for legal video downloads,” said Jobs. “Our next challenge is to broaden our content offerings, so that customers can enjoy watching more videos on their computers and new iPods.”

Now, I really want an iPod. Donations can be made....

You’ve been splogged!

At first glance, it seems like a regular blog. But look closer and you'll see there's something very odd about the blog's content: It's very familiar. Too familiar.

That's because you wrote it, six months ago, on your own blog. The rest of the content doesn't make sense: The same word repeated over and over again. There are ads all over the sidebar for products like Viagra and mortgage loans.

This, you realize, is a splog, and you're the victim.

"Splogs," or spam blogs, are the latest way for spammers to manipulate the blogosphere for profit. The phenomenon hit an all-time high recently, when Google's blog-hosting service, Blogger, was inundated with more than 13,000 fake blogs spawned by a script (all have since been taken down).

Splog topics are often so nonsensical and wide-ranging they can be hard to pinpoint. Scott Beale of Laughing Squid said some really strange splogs have shown up on his watch list, everything from "Phish Rocks, Dude" to "Geeks Meet Greeks."

But why do sploggers do it? How do you know if you've been splogged? And what can you do to stop it? Here are a few tips:

[read the full article at wired.com]

Armageddon Games Preview Part 2

Ubisoft’s King Kong is looking pretty damn impressive. An action/adventure that looks to have enough action to keep even a hardened gamer happy. The one Ubisoft title that I had been hoping to take a look at, I couldn’t find. Brothers in Arms was an awesome game, and it’s sequel Earned In Blood looks even better on the trailer, but with out actually playing it, I wouldn’t want to rave about it too much!

Rockstar were showing off The Warriors. An classic movie turned into a video game. The look and feel of the game was good. Easy to get into, with the usual controls, but it suffered from the same problems as most action/adventure games: you can’t always take the most direct route. An interesting title, but not one that blows you away!

Sony’s latest party toy is BUZZ! The Music Quiz. A TV game show styled music knowledge game that will be a hit at parties and other gatherings this Christmas – you have be warned!

But the big one would have to be Microsoft and the X-Box 360. Now there is a sexy console. Sleek and with curves in all the right places, and a controller that just melts into your hand. Sadly theirs no official date, or price. In fact other than a jaw dropping trailer of a couple of games, Microsoft didn’t have much of anything. But I will say one thing; It’ll be worth the wait when it reaches NZ sometime early next year. Forget buying Christmas presents and save your money for a 360!

Armageddon Games Preview Part 1

Friday night saw the gaming industry in NZ treat the media to a preview of all that’s good and coming up over the next few months. Highlights were:

V8 Supercars 3
The early code on this game looks flippin amazing. Only got to play on one track: Bathurst. The think that struck me first was the incredible feeling of speed. It really was a step up from the last couple of games. The graphics of course were better, a lot better. The franchise is heading towards more of a simulation which is friggen awesome, so the handling was noticeable harder, but this being early code, handling will change, so I was told. The other main feature was the inclusion of racing rules, and it wasn’t long before my dangerous driving style that won me races in previous V8 games, earned me a drive through penalty.

The Path Of Neo
I didn’t play this much, ‘cause it was incredibly hard not knowing what I was supposed to be doing, but watching the Atari guy (who obviously had played it before!) I was blown away. Not just by the graphics and the fluid gameplay, but also by the fact that the game looked just like the movies. There was the foyer shootout from the original Matrix, and even the burley brawl. This is going to be THE game for Christmas.

More later.

DVD | Hotel Rwanda

Back in 1994, over a period of 100 days, an African country named Rwanda imploded with unrestrained racial fury. Almost a million people were slaughtered. And the civilized West saw the images on the TV news as we ate dinner, and did nothing about it.

Well, we did evacuate our own people. White people.

The UN was helpless and hopeless, with their hands tied with the ropes of bureaucracy. Rwanda would become a word that described the Western civilisations darkest hour, when we turned our backs on people in desperate need.

Hotel Rwanda focuses though not so much on the failures of the West, but the actions of one man. Paul Rusesabagina.

Paul Rusesabagina was a hotel manager in one of Rwanda’s flashest hotels, and when the violence flared up he did everything he could to protect his family. Initially he didn’t care about anyone else but his family. He would have died to save them. But then his family began to grow, as more and more people came to seek refuge, his eyes were opened, his heart broken and he became an accidental hero who did everything he could to save the lives of over a thousand people.

Hotel Rwanda is a heart-wrenching movie; it’s an emotional roller coaster that will leave you stunned. But it’s also one of the most inspirational movies of the year. It brings to life Edmund Burke’s famous quote: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Don Cheadle gives an outstanding lead performance, bringing a reality and passion to his character, and the movie it’s self does an amazing job of portraying the situation with as little visual gore as possible. Having said that, the movie is rate M and recommended for audiences 16 and over, as whilst the content may be controlled, the feel and atmosphere of the movie make sure you know what is going on.

NZ Post does KONG stamps!

But of course, I mean why wouldn't they? Expect a mad rush of Kong stamps appearing on letters, of course the sucky thing is you can't send the 'real' Kong stamp on an over seas letter, as Kong himself only appears on the 45c stamp....

RIP Vanilla Coke

I got some devestating news on the weekend. A friend who works for coke told me that they were about to ditch Vanilla coke. What am I going to do? I'll have to start drinking water again.

PS: Stay tuned, I've got some movie reviews coming!

News | Peter Jackson to do Halo!

Ok, so when Microsoft first announced that they wanted to bring Halo to Hollywood and create a blockbuster movie, I was a little cynical. I mean video games haven’t always made the best movies, and hell, Halo isn’t even all that as far as games go. At least in my humble opinion.

But news out yesterday brings hope for the project: Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh will be executive producers, and the whole shin-dig is being done in Wellington. Whilst it would have been better news if Peter had also been named as the Director, it will be interesting to see how this little movie works out.

Here’s the official blurb from the good people at Microsoft…..

Triple-Academy Award® winners Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh have been signed as executive producers of Halo®, the forthcoming feature film based on Microsoft’s hugely popular game for Xbox and Windows PC.

The movie will be filmed in Wellington, with the pair providing creative counsel on all aspects of the film through WingNut Films. It will make use of the team’s award-winning production and post-production facilities, including Weta Digital Ltd, Weta Workshop Ltd, Stone Street Studios and Park Road Post, to create the mind-blowing creatures, miniatures and effects Jackson and Walsh are famous for.

Peter Jackson, a gaming fan, said: “I’m excited to bring Halo’s premise, action and settings to the screen with all the specificity and reality today’s technology can provide. I’m a huge fan of the game and look forward to helping it come alive on the cinema screen.”

Jackson’s involvement isn’t the only Kiwi connection to the game, however. One of Halo’s developers is Bungie Studios’ Chris Butcher, who grew up in Kakanui, a small town just outside of Oamaru.

Microsoft New Zealand product marketing manager Tom Hunt, said: “This is an incredible announcement, both for Xbox and for New Zealand. Halo is the most popular game on Xbox and has a massive local following, and the character Master Chief has become a cult figure.

“We can’t wait to see the game brought to life on the big screen, and we can’t imagine anyone better placed to do this than the legendary team of Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh.”

Pre-production on Halo will start immediately, with shooting due to begin in May 2006. The film is scheduled to be released by Universal Pictures and Twentieth Century Fox studios in mid-2007. Acclaimed UK novelist and screenwriter Alex Garland (The Beach, 28 Days Later) wrote the original feature film adaptation, and a director is to be announced shortly.

Nobody's Perfect #1

Continuity can be a problem, and for the most part mistakes go unoticed by most movie goers, but I have to ask, how does an extra olive appear on your stick.....

Constantine 2?

Ok, so I haven’t been posting very regularly recently, but that’s because I’ve been working 10-12 hour days and I’ve been too whacked to even think about movies. Reading other peoples websites and stealing their stories is much easier at the moment, so when I came across a rant about Warner Bros dragging their feet over a Constantine sequel that tickled my fancy, at one of my favourite movie sites, I decided to let y’all have a read.

Now he comes up with some good points, is a tad rude in places (you’ve been warner!!hahahahqahaha), and ends up with a similar thought to me, but I’m gonna take a stand and say to Warner Bros: Don’t do it. A Constantine sequel would suck big time. Like most sequels do. I mean the great thing about Constantine was the originality of it, the fresh-ness of it, something that can’t be carried into a sequel.

But hell, enough of my ranting, read the stolen rant right here:

With recent news that Warner Bros are twiddling their thumbs and playing with their executive balls when considering a sequel to this year’s CONSTANTINE one can only sigh the deepest of sighs when thinking of their salivating eagerness to flick the often abused green-light sequel switch for the likes of MISS. CONGENIALITY, CATS & DOGS and SCOOBY DOO.

The comic book Keanu starrer may not have bought in the same kind of buckage as most of the aforementioned cinematic shit-splats but it was by no means a flop and, most importantly, the film possessed (please hold)… IDEAS. Now, repeat that once again like that badly animated paedo looking fella from ‘Sesame Street’; I-D-E-A-S.

CONSTANTINE was not a perfect film, but for a big-budget Warner release it was something of a revelation (no pun intended.. or was it?).

Fans of its source material, Vertigo’s "Hellblazer" comics, were concerned that their foul-mouthed, chain smoking, cancer-ridden anti hero John Constantine would come out the arse end of the Hollywood Machine acting more like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis’ ‘LOVELY LOVE IS LOVELY’ (coming soon).

They needn’t have worried; with newcomer Francis Lawrence coming good, CONSTANTINE only went through a handful of alterations; his trademark olive jacket did a ‘Kingpin’ and morphed to black and his Liverpudlian twang was twisted into the calming tones of one Ted Theodore Logan. But the quirks, defects, cynicism and addictions remained. A minor miracle if you consider that nowadays it’s virtually impossible for a studio to allow you to simply commit a cigarette to celluloid, the fact that Reeves was sucking back 20 cancer-sticks a second and coughing up blood into a rusty plug-hole was something to behold (am I sick?).

Then of course there’s the whole religious to-do, a backstabbing Gabriel (excellently played by an androgynous Tilda Swinton), multiple suicide attempts AND the concept of the Devil and God treating the human-race like a planet of toy Weebles (but, oh how we DO fall down). All of this in a ‘mainstream’ studio flick?

I’ll happily take a different coloured coat and a transatlantic switcheroo over Sandra Bullock falling over and the systematic rape of an iconic childhood cartoon canine anytime.

So, the argument against a sequel? Well, I suppose this is where those predictable and jaded Keanu bashers come out of the woodwork. Criticising Keanu Reeves’ thesp abilities seems to be a no-brainer knee jerk reaction for some film geeks, most of these critiques are often riddled with ‘Excellents’, ‘Duuuudes’ and ‘Woahs’. Ingenius.

Well for my money Keanu Reeves is a movie-star, I enjoy watching his performances and I will happily pay the admission price to see him playing a time-travelling valley dude, a lovelorn vampire hunter, a Chilli Pepper bashing surf-cop, a Dennis Hopper decapitating bus driver or a Commodore 64 infecting Martial Artist.

Reeves seems to have a precise and graceful movement on camera as if his use of the space around him and his knowledge of the frame is as much a tool as his own physical performance, it’s intriguing to watch and to instantly dismiss his abilities is most non, non-heinous.

I wasn’t a particular fan of the MATRIX trilogy, in fact I didn’t even warm to the original so whilst I endured the unforgivable debacle that was RELOADED and REVOLUTIONS with a somewhat smug and self-satisfied grin on my handsome face, I joyfully observed my Morpheus loving buddies turn their salty popcorn even saltier with their pathetic tears.

BUT ask yourself this? Who else could have played Neo? The true test of a great iconic movie character (Dirty Harry, Peter Venkman, Ferris Bueller, The Godfather, Deuce Bigelow; European Gigolo) is when you simply cannot imagine another actor playing that part. Who of Reeves’ peers could have entered the mainframe so effortlessly? John Cusack? Sean Penn? Charlie Sheen? Deuce Bigalow; European Gigolo? Reeves all the way.. dude.

So with this in mind and the fact that CONSTANTINE is now cleaning up around the globe on DVD what’s Warner’s problem? They’ve already gotten through the controversial material unscathed and built a foundation (and a following) for a very intriguing franchise…so what’s the delay Bugs?

Maybe they’ve had visions of CONSTANTINE : RELOADED?

The author of this column is Dan Palmer, not OnScreen. Just in case you didn’t get that from my intro.

Have an awesome weekend now y’all.

What Movie Am I #22

Sean Penn plays a death row inmate.

DVD | I Heart Huckabees

Convinced that a series of coincidences involving a doorman hold some secret to life's largest riddles, Albert Markovski seeks the help of a detective agency unlike any other. . . which leads him down a path that questions the essence of existence itself.

So starts the bizarre movie that is Huckabees. And I use the term movie very loosely, as this is a movie unlike any other. It’s a movie which seems to have no plot or direction. A movie that claims to be a comedy, but uses very intellectual humour. Not that intellectual humour is bad, at least it gets you thinking about what you’re watching, but I do like a bit of slapstick now and then.

So to say that Huckabees is a very funny movie could be true, but it could also be a lie – It’s kind of a parody of the movie itself, it depends on what you believe humour to be.

So I guess you could call Huckabees one of those strange movies. A movie about the meaning of life, about how we’re connected, about our needs. I’m not sure that it answers any of the questions that it poses, but it does make you think, and thinking is good for the brain.

What I can say for certain, is that Huckabees has some outstanding acting.

DVD | 2B Perfectly Honest

This is an interesting little comedy. It starts out as a predictable movie, but soon the main character gets in a bit of bother, and not long after, weird stuff starts happening. Most of the time you’re left wondering what is going on, but in the end everything is sorted out. It wasn’t a huge barrel of laughs but did connect with my Bible reading the next day, Proverbs 32:4-5.

News | New Website

One or two people may have noticed that there have been no movie news or reviews for a week now. Sadly I’ve been very busy at work and just haven’t had time to write any reviews. I have seen a few DVDs, so don’t worry, reviews should start appearing later this week.

One of the things that has kept me busy over the past week is a new Christian Music Website that I’ve been working on. It’s pretty much an example of what you can do for next to no cost, with just about no knowledge of html (I created the main page with Mozzila’s free web page creator!).